Thea the Great Dane: Coffee Talk

This is a conversation I recently had with my Great Dane Thea about her rationale for needing coffee. Reader beware: Coffee/caffeine is toxic to dogs! Unfortunately, one morning awhile back I set my empty coffee mug on the counter and Thea lapped up the remaining drops. She has been in love with coffee ever since.

Thea: Momma, I would like a sip of your coffee.

Me: No Thea, it’s bad for you.

Thea: But Momma, I’m really tired and need a little pick-me-up.

Me: How can you be tired? You sleep all the time.

Thea: I don’t think I sleep well.

Me: Why aren’t you sleeping well?

Thea: Maybe it’s menopause.

Me: Thea, you’re only three and a half years old.

Thea: Not in dog years.

Me: Well, if you think you’re menopausal you’ll need to see the vet.

Thea: Vet?


Thea: You know, even in dog years I’m probably too young for menopause.

Me: Then what do you think is keeping you up?

Thea: I think stress.

Me: Thea, you have no responsibilities.

Thea: But sometimes when we play you throw the ball so far and I miss it and I get really stressed. Then I don’t sleep well and need coffee the next day. Like now.

Me: I’m sorry about that. I won’t throw the ball so far.

Thea: And sometimes I eat and I’m still hungry and I stress because I think I might starve to death. That happened yesterday. And now I need coffee.

Me: Okay, I’ll feed you a little more.

Thea: Okay.


Thea: Momma?

Me: Yes?

Thea: If I’m still tired tomorrow can I have some coffee?

Me: I don’t think so Thea.

Thea: Okay, good, we’ll try again tomorrow.


To learn more about what makes Thea tick, check out this blog she wrote that’s sure to give you a chuckle and maybe tug a few heartstrings too.

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